History did not start on 7 October 2023. While that date may mark a tragedy for Israel, every single day for the last 76 years has marked some sort of catastrophe for Palestinians. My paternal grandparents originally lived in Haifa; in 1948, during the Nakba, they were among the 700,000 Palestinians forced to flee or expelled by Israel. Their home was demolished. They lost everything.
It has been a year of heartbreak, a year of horror, a year of hell. I know I am not alone when I say that this has been the very worst year of my life. I have lost friends, I have lost job opportunities and, most of all, I have lost my faith in humanity.
But, before I get into that, let me fulfil my duty as a good diaspora Palestinian and recite the obligatory incantation: I condemn Hamas, I condemn Hamas, I condemn Hamas. We Palestinians, you see, are not allowed to open our mouths without someone demanding we denounce violence and condemn Hamas. And then we are told to shut our mouths, to stay silent, while the very same people demanding we decry violence salivate over our deaths and celebrate murder on an unimaginable scale. Anyone an Israeli kills is an act of self-defence. Anyone an Arab kills is an act of terrorism. These are the rules we must all abide by.
The US has never been shy about how much it hates Arabs. But ever since 7 October that hatred has shot to such disturbing new levels that I no longer feel at home in this country. Were it not for the fact that I have built a life and a family here, I would get the hell out. Why would I want to stay in a country where Palestinians are so dehumanised that elected officials such as Senator Lindsey Graham can fantasise about dropping an atomic bomb on Gaza – a place where half of the population are children – without facing any meaningful censure? Where John Fetterman, who is my senator, openly mocks pro-Palestinian protesters and seems to take immense joy in our pain?
And then there’s the fact that, simply by paying my taxes, I am complicit in the slaughter and starvation of my own people. Increasingly I can’t rationalise living in a country where such a large portion of my taxpayer dollars is spent on funding war and what Kamala Harris has gleefully described as the “most lethal fighting force in the world”. I live in Philadelphia, where the schools are so underfunded that just four out of more than 200 schools have full-time librarians and 98% of school buildings’ drinking outlets have tested positive for lead. There is no money for schools in the US; there is plenty of money to help bomb schools in Gaza.
Again, the US has never been shy about how much it hates Arabs – and Palestinians in particular. Well before 7 October I was subject to plenty of racism on that front. I’ve had innumerable people tell me that I can’t possibly be Palestinian because Palestinians don’t exist….
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Israelis Must Ask Themselves if They’re Willing to Live in a Country That Lives on Blood
Democratic Party Unites Under Banner of Silence on Gaza Genocide
Serial Criminals Rule Israel. That’s Where the Collapse Begins
‘There was no mercy, even on children’: trauma in the West Bank after Israeli raids
Bombed hospitals, buried children: we have become numb to Gaza’s destruction
Lancet warns Gaza death toll could be over 186,000
The Brutalization of Israel Is Well Underway. If we do not act, collapse is only a matter of time
After the truth-shower 